10 reasons why an Eccentric Genius product is a better executive reward than a soapstone carving of a Hooded Ptarmigan

10)   In western society, giving someone the bird is an *insult*.

9)   Nearly impossible to cut the end off a cigar with a soapstone bird.

8)   Soapstone bird easily mistaken for doorstop by housekeeping staff.

7)   Soapstone bird. Pet Rock. Do the math.

6)   IT staff will want to borrow your ballista for use in cubefarm Nerf wars. Can you say ‘New Laptop?’

5)   Annoying salesmen rarely intimidated by soapstone bird.

4)   Who *doesn’t* admire large counterweights?

3)   Large soapstone birds never seen on TV smashing down castle walls.

2)   What the hell is a Ptarmigan?

And the #1 reason why an Eccentric Genius product is a better executive reward than a soapstone carving of a Hooded Ptarmigan is….

1)   Jimbo in the corner office doesn’t have one

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